you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
