God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
