walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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