Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
