used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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