did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
