Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this will be a night to untag.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize