dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
