I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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