so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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