I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
