question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
