Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize