For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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