There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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