you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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