so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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