Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
