The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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