dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
