I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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