This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
