so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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