We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
