My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
