Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
