The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
