you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
