whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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