This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
