I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
