You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
