yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
