By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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