you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
