She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize