With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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