I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
