I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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