In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
