Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
