WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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