I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
