She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
