So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
