I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
