if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
