They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i think im in europe. pls send help
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
