it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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