I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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