he wants to bone in the snuggie
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
