I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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