Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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