He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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