She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
