you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He has the fingertips of a God
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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