she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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