she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
