There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
