I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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