so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I look better un-naked...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Four minutes until I can fart!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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