he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
