so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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